Something New

There are a lot of starts. Sometimes I feel like the ends aren’t as definitive as the starts. You just kind of go on this journey that seems to fade to black and before you know it, you’re starting something new.

One summer, I sat with a friend poolside chatting about how her professional journey sort of faded then, before she knew it, that chapter was written and done. Now she’s at a start and that something new looks a little different after 40.

Women talk about the confidence that comes with turning 40. In my opinion, turning 40 is a dichotomy of feelings. There’s power in youth. There is a power in naivete. As you get older, that power fades. A new power begins to develop. The power of knowing who you are as a person. That’s the confidence that comes with turning 40. The deep feeling of who you are is a little more solid with each passing day and experience.

This friend I chatted with poolside is smart and charismatic. She knows her shit. Yet…yet… As she embarks on this new start, her confidence wavers a bit. It's not seismic, just a wobble. It's not a lack of confidence. It's that she has the experience and the fortitude to know that there’s a vulnerability and fear in putting it all out on the table. Especially when you’re not hiding behind a corporate title.

My son and I were chatting about betting money on yourself and the risk that comes with it. He said given 50/50 odds, he’d bet on himself and go for broke. He told me he needed to do it now before he was old and had a family and there were real consequences. The power of youth.

I was a ROTC scholarship cadet. I can say with certainty that I was a horrific cadet. I didn’t have the focus, the desire or the determination. I was never prepared for anything. I just handled most every situation on the fly. I cringe to admit that I would often turn to a cohort with a smile and ask for help. The help mostly entailed me borrowing something that I failed to prepare. The consequences of my ineptitude were not tangible. The power of youth.

My friend received the opportunity to sponsor a conference as the sole proprietor of her own firm. She was hesitant. What were the bullet point benefits? Is this going to benefit her firm? Is this going to portray her in the best light? Will her contributions to this event contribute or be detrimental to her reputation? The wobble.

She turned to her husband for his thoughts. He looked at the first page of the sponsorship material and said do it. No consideration of the costs and no consideration of the “gets”. Just do it. He told her, “You walk in there with your experience, your knowledge and your confidence and you will own that room. Wear your Louboutins and kick ass.”

She nodded and started to picture it. She would put those shoes on because she felt powerful in them. She would go. She would network. Shw would knock it out of the park because of her history, knowledge and experience in her field. She would be a strong woman in the front row and that was empowering.

She would show them the power of something new for a woman over 40.