sigh....
Its been quite a couple of weeks. I’ve had a few conversations and read a few things that have really stuck out in my mind.
I read this article on Baby Rabies and it really hit home for me. Even though I haven’t spanked jake, I am quite the yeller. This quote she pulled from 1-2-3 Magic really struck me....like a ton of bricks, actually.
Ninety-nine percent of the time that parents scream, hit and spank their children, the parent is simply having a temper tantrum. The tantrum is a sign that (1) the parent doesn’t know what to do, (2) the parent is so frustrated that he or she can’t see straight, and (3) this adult has an anger management problem.
I know where I got the yelling from....my mother. I hate that I do it. She used to yell all the time. ALL THE TIME. I so don’t want to be that mom.
I have a friend that just recently became a full time stay at home mom. She asked for some advice. I told her that I think you have to get in the right state of mind. Yes, you can stay at home all day every day with the kids. I think that's when you'll start to think that I can't do this because I don't get adult interaction. The hardest part of being a stay at home mom is putting yourself out there to meet other moms, forming play groups, and just getting out there with the kids. Its almost like walking into the cafeteria at school when you're the new kid.
She agreed and made an excellent point. Being a stay at home mom is her job now. She wouldn't just sit at her job and not think. Think of ways to teach the kids. Think of ways to get adult interaction. Think of ways to get the kids interaction. I know that a lot of people will say that being a stay at home mom is a hard job but, I think they don't realize how much moms put into teaching their kids. Teaching them academics, allowing for creativity and cultivating a good human being is the hard work. Not just the juggling of temper tantrums while making dinner and holding a cranky 8 month old....oh, and the dog is staring at you, too.
Which leads me into another conversation I had with a friend about being a 50's family. I know it probably makes a lot of women cringe but, I think we really do strive to be a 50's family. One of my pet peeves is when a woman says she feels bad about having to work. Inevitably, someone will say that she's teaching her children that a woman can be independent and be her own person. That mommy is a strong woman. I cringe every time I hear that answer.
I hope that my children will view me as the core of our family. That I am an independent strong woman. That I was lucky to have the choice and i chose to put my family in front of everything else because I never had that growing up. That independence and strength doesn't always come in the form of cash. When I think back to high school, I don't think about how awesome it was to have my own car....I remember that my parents did not go to one of my student government speeches, any of the games I cheered at or any of my competitions. My dinners were always warmed in the microwave and eaten in front of the tv. I don't remember once sitting down as a family and talking about my day. I hope I'm teaching my daughter that being independent and strong includes nurturing yourself and your family.
Those are my random thoughts. I've had a tough week with insecurity. Just wondering if I make the right decisions as a mother, a photographer, a friend, and a woman. Everyone has an opinion. Its been really hard for me to consider each opinion and realize that what I'm doing is right for our family and me.
I bought a remote for the camera and this was the first time I tried it. It was the end of a regular day. Nothing crazy happened. I was pretty worn out, though. The kids never are....
I read this article on Baby Rabies and it really hit home for me. Even though I haven’t spanked jake, I am quite the yeller. This quote she pulled from 1-2-3 Magic really struck me....like a ton of bricks, actually.
Ninety-nine percent of the time that parents scream, hit and spank their children, the parent is simply having a temper tantrum. The tantrum is a sign that (1) the parent doesn’t know what to do, (2) the parent is so frustrated that he or she can’t see straight, and (3) this adult has an anger management problem.
I know where I got the yelling from....my mother. I hate that I do it. She used to yell all the time. ALL THE TIME. I so don’t want to be that mom.
I have a friend that just recently became a full time stay at home mom. She asked for some advice. I told her that I think you have to get in the right state of mind. Yes, you can stay at home all day every day with the kids. I think that's when you'll start to think that I can't do this because I don't get adult interaction. The hardest part of being a stay at home mom is putting yourself out there to meet other moms, forming play groups, and just getting out there with the kids. Its almost like walking into the cafeteria at school when you're the new kid.
She agreed and made an excellent point. Being a stay at home mom is her job now. She wouldn't just sit at her job and not think. Think of ways to teach the kids. Think of ways to get adult interaction. Think of ways to get the kids interaction. I know that a lot of people will say that being a stay at home mom is a hard job but, I think they don't realize how much moms put into teaching their kids. Teaching them academics, allowing for creativity and cultivating a good human being is the hard work. Not just the juggling of temper tantrums while making dinner and holding a cranky 8 month old....oh, and the dog is staring at you, too.
Which leads me into another conversation I had with a friend about being a 50's family. I know it probably makes a lot of women cringe but, I think we really do strive to be a 50's family. One of my pet peeves is when a woman says she feels bad about having to work. Inevitably, someone will say that she's teaching her children that a woman can be independent and be her own person. That mommy is a strong woman. I cringe every time I hear that answer.
I hope that my children will view me as the core of our family. That I am an independent strong woman. That I was lucky to have the choice and i chose to put my family in front of everything else because I never had that growing up. That independence and strength doesn't always come in the form of cash. When I think back to high school, I don't think about how awesome it was to have my own car....I remember that my parents did not go to one of my student government speeches, any of the games I cheered at or any of my competitions. My dinners were always warmed in the microwave and eaten in front of the tv. I don't remember once sitting down as a family and talking about my day. I hope I'm teaching my daughter that being independent and strong includes nurturing yourself and your family.
Those are my random thoughts. I've had a tough week with insecurity. Just wondering if I make the right decisions as a mother, a photographer, a friend, and a woman. Everyone has an opinion. Its been really hard for me to consider each opinion and realize that what I'm doing is right for our family and me.
I bought a remote for the camera and this was the first time I tried it. It was the end of a regular day. Nothing crazy happened. I was pretty worn out, though. The kids never are....